Changing Limiting BELIEFS about Seduction:
How to Recognize, Evaluate and Change Hidden Beliefs that May Be Keeping You from Where You Want To Be
For the past 16 years, I have been listening to participants in seminars; not only the seminars in which I have been involved, also the ones which I have attended with Richard Bandler, John Lavalle, John Latourette and others in Technology and Dan Kennedy, Joe Polish and Jay Abraham in Marketing. The consistent feedback is the same. The attendees are happy with the information package presented and they are stuck.
In the 25 years in the direct mail business, selling home study courses and talking to customers and potential customers who call asking for assistance, the feedback has been the same.
THE FEEDBACK: The information package I purchased is excellent and I intellectually understand it, yet I am not producing the results I want. Something is in the way.
Recently I received a call from a young man. Some time ago he purchased the applied NLP SS course. He practiced and became very proficient using the material. He found the perfect girl for him. She was beautiful, had a great career position and made good money, more than he did. The moved in together and five years they were happy; so happy she wanted to get married and so did he. As the date got closer, he got cold feet. He loved her and was very frustrated at his own behavior. They went to see a marriage counselor.
During the session, the counselor asked if they had any conflicts, arguments, fights, etc. Each said yes but they were small and mostly about his not wanting to get married when he said he did.
Now listen to the counselor’s reply, “Well it gets a LOT WORSE when you get married.”
This triggered a significant reaction from him. They did not get married; they broke up. Her biological clock was ticking and she wanted to get married.
It may be obvious to you by now that his beliefs about marriage ultimately prevented him from achieving the very thing he most wanted.
In our conversation, I asked many questions about his environment growing up and experiences relating to marriage. Bottom Line: He could not relate any good memories about marriage; none from his parents, none from his experiences in church, none from school, none that registered with him for marriage.
Now typically what happens is that first significant event relating to marriage was negative and set a belief, a filter, a bias. A belief that now looks for reinforcement and discounts any good experiences as being irrelevant or the exception to the rule, not real.
There’s more. Having lost the perfect girl and not recognizing fully the marriage belief effect, the brain starts rationalizing. He began to believe that he blew it; that he could never find another and why bother. He began to punish himself for what he rationalized as his big screw up. Remember, they loved each other and wanted to get married. She began to believe it was about her… That’s another story.
I think we took care of this matter over the phone. I have not heard from him since.
So here is a clue for you. If you have purchased any course from us or anyone else and are not producing the results you want, then start looking for patterns, patterns of behavior, patterns of speech, patterns of response you get from people, etc.
Another caller the other day wanted to save his six-year marriage. After talking for a while, it finally came down to this: a lot of people (including all his wife’s family) thought he was a total A..hole. So I said to him, “So now that you recognize and accept that you are an A..hole, how are you going to learn not to be one?” He is going to get back to me on that.
Enough…In my new course, recorded live in London, you get practical tools and tons of examples from the attendees. Tools you can use the rest of your life, all packed in 12 hours on 6 DVDs.
When you get this course, open it up with a pen and pad handy. There’s a lot of writing as you are given a structured approach to get there.
Remember, if you are not truthful, then you are only deluding yourself. If you truly want to change, it takes more than intellectually understanding. It takes doing the exercises to begin the course and daily exercises involving your body and behavior.
Yates J Canipe, PhD